Some tips from a first time bacon cooker

Despite my 20 some years of existence on this planet I had never actually cooked the red gold of breakfast foods known as bacon. However today that has all changed. I have cooked bacon and have a few tips for beginners
1. Crispy Bacon takes patience. Bacon isn't a "Ill fry it in the pan 3 or 4 minutes and it will be cooked." You need to spend a good amount of time crispin in up.
2.Even if the bacon is still limp in the bacon grease when you dry it off it may gain crispiness. I had blackened a piece of bacon and it was limp in the pan but when moved to the paper towels low and behold it gained crispiness.
3. Blackened Bacon STILL TASTES GOOD. Most food when you char it game over. Not so with bacon.
4. If you use the front burner splatter may make the floor in front of the stove greases.
5. Splatter isn't quite the evil I thought it would be. I had maybe one or two incredibly small drops fall land on my hand and it didn't even hurt much.
6. Bacon shrinks A LOT. Even thought you had probably seen uncooked bacon before it really doesn't impress you till you watch that fat strip turn into something small in front of your very eyes.

Not if you want it really crispy! Goddamn hippies and their precooked bacon.