BACK WITH SOME VENGENCE or something similar

Its almost been 2 months...far from the weekly updates I have promised...Whatevs college happened.

So to return I'm going to start with something that pisses me off.

This guy right here.

 And there is really only one reason that makes them so awful. Trying to balance the tempature is like trying to balance on top of the empire state building. On one foot. With an Inner Ear disorder. While on fire.

Honestly I have never had a shower where I haven't had to adjust the knobs like 500 times. I don't understand why getting 2 hot and cold to make warm requires a PHD in plumbing....Or I guess they call it....Civil Hydro Temperature Engineering. I don't know why Hell and the Arctic are the only 2 temperatures that the showers are capable of generating. Or who knows maybe it is just me. Maybe I can only feel comfortable in the narrowest of shower water temperatures. Like I am some kinda weird shower elemental or something.

Oh well not the best comeback post but I worked for 8 hours then exercised after so cut me some slack.

For a fun pictures I guess this will suffice. FEDS ALWAYS ON TOP OF THAT SCIENCE

On being uninspired

Inspiration is an odd thing and honestly I haven't been able to think of anything coy,ironic or funny recently. I would probably like to cite school as a main factor for my lack of inspiration. I dunno it is like I just have had a lack of energy or something. Hence the lack of posts.

I promised a reader that I would update today and was going to make my original post ranting about Punxsutawney Phil and how he was wrong this year.

This is like -1 Celsius for all my European readers

However I did some research about this "Master troll" and realized he is right about 39% of the time. For those of who don't know anything about anything randomly tossing a coin in the air and calling heads or tails will probably generate more accurate results.

OH SHI- Looks like those march firestorms are going to be coming around.

 So you know that kinda removes any justified rage. I mean how can you be angry at a guy for getting something wrong when statistically he has shitty luck. If you really want an animal who you should have made your next prophet I heard that paul the octopus guy was picking world cup winners like it was his job. Although he has died he will rise again in another 4 years to decide who wins the world cup and then ascend into heaven to take the throne in an epic battle vs Odin and Ra. Grace be to paul.

For now soccer. Tomorrow THE WORLD

So there you go. As for other interesting things that have been keeping me occupied when not thinking of things to write about
(Epic meal time - Cooking to the next level)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rUEpmbdZLw&feature=relmfu 
(THE NEWS!- I know right? Seriously there are like 3 wars going on and a tsunami)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/
http://www.cnn.com 
http://www.foxnews.com 

Wtf captcha

Wait....what? Did that just say Sigma K i = 1? Seriously? Does it like want me to like....get on latex and copy paste?

How to make 8 bit jams

Have you ever been browsing along the youtubes and seen something like this before?

Chances are you were wondering how do I make something this retro? Well in truth it is fairly easy to do.


Step 1: Go get guitar pro somehow. I would suggest illegally downloading it from warez-bb purchasing it.
(As an aside the open source Tux guitar works equally well get it here http://tuxguitar.herac.com.ar/ )

Step 2: Get GXSCC @ http://www.geocities.co.jp/SiliconValley-SanJose/8700/P/GsorigE.htm
Make sure you have more then a pentium 3 and 128 mbs of ram!

Step 3: Get Guitar pro 5 tabs from somewhere on the internets. www.ultimate-guitar.com should probably have the song you are looking (unless you are into some crazy indie rock band no one has ever heard of. I'm looking at you arcade fire)

Step 4: Go open your TOTALLY LEGAL copy of guitar pro.

Step 5: Open the .gp5 file you just downloaded.

Step 6: Go to "File>Export>Export as midi" Note this wont work if your song is playing so make sure you stop it first (this works the same way with tux guitar)

Step 7: Open GXSCC

Step 8: Drag and drop the midi you exported from Step 6 to the fancy pink window of gaishisoft.

Step 9: Click on the "Authoring" button and output your .wav file anywhere you want. And bang your done!
(as an aside  you can tinker with the settings of your midi file in GXSCC in the config )

Well there you go. Your favorite song in 8 bit form. Perfect for anything you have in mind

Today's post has been brought to you by Bender. And Child Abduction.

Why Don't people ever buy more then one type of toothpaste at a time?

Sorry for the delay. School has been on top of me and I frankly couldn't think of anything to write. But lo some inspiration!

It has occurred to me that for the most part when people decide to go out and buy a toothpaste they generally grab one of their favorite brand and wait for it to run out before they have to take a trip back to the store to buy more toothpaste. Well if you do this how are you supposed to find out about any other kind of toothpaste? I mean I recently had cinnamon crest. That stuff was good but I had never bought it before.(think bigred in toothpaste form). So I think I will write a list WHY you should buy 2 tubes of toothpaste.

1. Most importantly "try new things"- If you don't want to invest in a whole tube you can get one of those travel size things.

2.Toothpaste lasts a long time so it is bound to happen that you may grow old of a type - Seriously think about how often you need to get a new tube of toothpaste. Every 3 or 4 months?(if you are alone that is) If you are brushing your teeth twice a day (If it is less you are gross) you are bound to wanna try something different.

3.New tubes are like 3 dollars- I have spend about as much on trying a 7-Layer I didn't like. And even if I liked the taco I would have eaten it and it would have been gone in like 5 minutes.

4.Toothpaste doesn't go bad- If you run 3 different types of toothpaste in a rotation everyday it isn't like after 6 months it will go bad or anything.


And for the obligatory related funny picture

Crest needs to step up their advertising game.

1.09 Is too damn much for a candy bar!

As of recent in order to try to extort money out of students the school store increased the price of a candy bar from 1$ to a 1.09$. And honestly that is just awful. In my opinion the max price for any regular size candy bar should be a dollar. That is all. I once knew a man in my highschool who would sell candy bars out of his locker for a dollar. Now he had a fairly good monopoly on the market. But all he ever charged was a dollar. Therefore a highschool student has better business ethics then my school.

A Dollar and a candy bar should be the only stuff that needs to be involved. Don't add no goddamn tax to a candy bar either. I give you a dollar,you give me a candy bar. There should be no more complexity then that. Of course the school has to pay for a 14 billion dollar expanison to pay for (that no one really asked for WOW A WALKWAY TO THE LIBRARY,GOD FORBID YOU HAVE TO WALK 2 MINUTES TO LIBRARY IN INCLIMATE WEATHER)

Regardless of inflation these should be 1 USD. Or 50,000,000 Zimbabwes if you are counting.

And honestly I would love to not buy that candy but the law of supply and demand has me by the balls. I have a magical 250$ flex account which can buy me candy. They supply stuff I can spend my magic on and I DEMAND CANDY.

Random Picture break #2

School as well as a magic tournament all saturday has been getting to me.
today, PHOTOSHOP TOYING

Why the radio sucks so much.

In the chances that you have driven somewhere in a car that doesn't have a CD or MP3 plugin you have had to deal with a radio. AKA one of the now worst inventions known to man. Now I have many complaints against the radio so I will go ahead and list them.
1.Ads ads and more ads.Now this may seem like an unreasonable complaint but seriously I can hop on pandora or Hulu and deal with boatloads less of ads then I deal with on the radio.

2.The radio never tells me what song was just played RIGHT AFTER IT WAS PLAYED. Maybe I am browsing and I come upon a song I like and then it ends. I want to know the name of this song so I can pirate it purchase it on Itunes. I don't want to have to look on some website or trying wait through the other 8 terrible songs you managed to play to have some DJ list the last thousand songs to tell me what is on.

3.Terrible station choices. You see if you want to make money as a radio station you need to have ads. More listeners you have the more you can charge for ads the more money you can make. This is why there are 1000000 top 40 stations and since I am in the middle of WHITESVILLE 1000000 country stations (and jesus stations. seriously keep your preachin on the AM stations where they belong). Maybe one or two rock stations and even then they might have some latest crappy rock they have today

4.Narrow Selection of Music. I guess this sorta coincides with number 3 but I am amazed I never heard raining blood or something by slayer on radio. Saying slayer "isn't mainstream" is obviously a large lie but yet in my entire life's existence I have never heard them on the radio. What is up with that?

Yeah this is related to the radio enough.

Kids these days with their Nerf Assualt Rifles

In case anyone happened to not be watching TV in the past few years Nerf guns have gotten awesome. STUPIDLY AWESOME. Like surfing on a lake of fire while playing a guitar made of lightning awesome. How awesome have they gotten? Well lets look at what many may consider the pinnacle of Nerf technology.

Like a Nerf Gun from GOD HIMSELF.

Fully automatic with a 35 round drum mag. (Though the default only comes with 3 20 round mags)
This is clearly the most awesome toy gun that has ever been invented ever.
What kind of nerf guns did you play with when you were kids?

Look at those things! Seriously kids today don't know how awesome they have it. That one of the left has like some kinda awkward stripper clip system.

And maybe sometimes you get tired of shooting darts at each other. That is okay nerf has got your back with foam weapons to beat each other with.

I WILL CUT YOUR FACE

So in short nerf guns(and swords) are more awesome then they have been.

Some tips from a first time bacon cooker

Despite my 20 some years of existence on this planet I had never actually cooked the red gold of breakfast foods known as bacon. However today that has all changed. I have cooked bacon and have a few tips for beginners
1. Crispy Bacon takes patience. Bacon isn't a "Ill fry it in the pan 3 or 4 minutes and it will be cooked." You need to spend a good amount of time crispin in up.
2.Even if the bacon is still limp in the bacon grease when you dry it off it may gain crispiness. I had blackened a piece of bacon and it was limp in the pan but when moved to the paper towels low and behold it gained crispiness.
3. Blackened Bacon STILL TASTES GOOD. Most food when you char it game over. Not so with bacon.
4. If you use the front burner splatter may make the floor in front of the stove greases.
5. Splatter isn't quite the evil I thought it would be. I had maybe one or two incredibly small drops fall land on my hand and it didn't even hurt much.
6. Bacon shrinks A LOT. Even thought you had probably seen uncooked bacon before it really doesn't impress you till you watch that fat strip turn into something small in front of your very eyes.

Not if you want it really crispy! Goddamn hippies and their precooked bacon.

New Years Movielution

In what I guess could be called my new years resolution I am going to watch a movie every week for the next year.
Cause I need to.
 This is just a list for my reference. Plus after each movie I will comment it with a short review.


‎1. The good, The bad and the ugly.
2. It's a wonderful life
3.Goodfellas
4. Psycho (original)
5. The princess Bride
6.The godfather
7. The Godfather part 2
8. The godfather part 3
9. Seven Samurai
10. The Professional
11.Se7en
12. The Usual Suspects
13. The Shining
14. Lawrence of Arabia
15. Reservoir Dogs
16. Dog Day Afternoon
17. Raging Bull
18. Once upon a time in mexico
19. Forbidden planet (the reason Leslie Nielson deserved more respect then he got when he died)
20. 2001: A space odyssey
21. The Green Mile
22. Big
23. The big Lebowski
24. The Sixth Sense
25. Unbreakable (back to back shamalamawhatshiface movies ?!!?!?!?!)
26. Donnie Darko
27. Pale Rider
28. There will be blood
29. The Manchurian candidate (both are good, i prefer original)
30. Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels
31. From Russia with love (best james bond movie ever made)
32. Good Will hunting
33. Police Academy (gotta get me some classic comedy's up in hur.)
34. The Jerk
35. The Shawshank redemption
36. Alien
37. Aliens
38. Alien 3 (and im not putting alien resurrection cause it sucks)
39. Leaving las vegas.
40. A bronx tale
41. Twelve Monkeys
42. Young Frankenstein
43. Animal House
44. Rain man
45. Jurassic park ( only because im almost positive you haven't seen this movie.
46. The man in the iron mask
47. Stand by me (this is the stephen king movie that i couldn't think of its name)
48. The Ref
49. The adventures of robin hood (the serious one)
50. Philadelphia
51. Enter the Dragon
52. Mad max the road warrior. (rare sequel that's better then the original).

RANDOM AWESOME PICTURE IMAGE #1

Browsing the Innanet for so long leaves me with a lot of awesome images
So instead of writing a review for true grit or the cape or Call of Duty BLOCK ORPS
Here is Morgan Freemans CHAIN O COMMAND

Why I don't trust the economy.

Now the economy is a huge mass of moving parts and cogs but for the simplicity of this rant I will break it down into 3 categories. Consumers, Corporations and THE GOVERMENT.

The Reason I don't trust corporations is they are in the buisness of making money and that is pretty much about it. If you think that american corporations wouldn't stoop to child slavery to manufacture chocolate bars well then http://www.organicconsumers.org/fair_trade/slavechocolate060414.cfm

Or how about Nike SOCCER BALLS
http://www1.american.edu/ted/nike.htm

Point is if you are making lots of money you can have no morals.Even PLAGARIZE ANIMES for your cheese curl mascot

He transmuted his dead mom into TASTY CHEESE CURLS.

Now consumers. Obviously I am a consumer. And I am probably not to be trusted. Remember how I just said thousands of orphans are used to create one pair of nike shoes? Well guess what kinda shoe I am wearing right this second? That is right nike. Now sure I could probably go to a place like http://www.americansworking.com/shoes.html and pay 80 dollars for a pair of shoes. Or I could run over to Modell's and pay 30 for a pair. Plus my belt is made in china and my shirt was made in Honduras.

My Black Ops disc was made in china IT SHOWS

Now how does the GUBBERMINT play into all of this? Well remember how they were out letting nike grind up orphans to make shoes? Well they were fighting tooth and nail to spend your tax bailing out GM to "save american jobs". And how about that BP disaster? Remember when the people were supposed to make sure that didn't happen? Too bad they were busy having crazy sex with the oil and gas people http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=19083

 

The shark riding industry has been subsidized by the GOVERMENT

So that is basically why I don't trust anyone with the economy. However my mind is not set in stone. If you have any awesome arguments feel free to post in the comments section below or talk to me in person since I am sure everyone who is reading this blog at the moment knows me personally.

3 Firearms you probably have never heard of

1. THE HUOT AUTOMATIC RIFLE
Back in the days when warfare involved incredibly large amounts of digging and most machine guns weighed around 100 pounds some crazy canadian was like "What if I take one of those bolt action ross rifles,give it a 25 round drum and make it fire at full auto?" You get this.

Canadian BAR.

The gun actually proved somewhat better then the standard light machine gun at the time. Soldiers reported they loved the gun and it cost about 50 Canadian dollars where as the Lewis cost about 1000 Canadian dollars.
So why haven't you heard about this gun? Funny thing happened. The war ended and suddenly German murdering devices market took a dive. Why no one ever thought to make the gun in world war 2 is beyond me.

2.MATEBA AUTOREVOLVER 
Revolvers all look very similar. However those crazy Italians aren't merely content to just go with the standard design. So sure enough the mateba autorevolver was born. It uses the gasses from the shot to spin the barrel and cock the hammer where as other revolvers just use the trigger press to do both.

Looks like some kinda crazy FUTURE GUN

Now why haven't you heard of this gun? Probably because hollywood hasn't put it in any of their crazy shoot-em up movie. But they should. 


3.COBRAY TERMINATOR
Unlike those other 2 guns which seem rather awesome the following is almost a step back in gun technology. In a world where we had pump action shotguns with fancy semi-auto or pump actions with 8 shot round capacity some crazy dude thought it was okay to make a marketable shotgun that can only shoot once using the same kind of system you can make out of some plumbing supplies on a lazy sunday afternoon

Seriously I could make a better gun in my sleep.

This gun sells for around 1000 dollars now despite probably costing around 5 bucks to make. Why? Because apparently there were only around 18 made before the ATF decided that having an open bolt method of firing on guns wasn't cool with them.

MOTHERFUCKING BLOG

Aight So I guess this will be my first post or something. I will try to share something interesting or insightful once a week to make the blog worth reading. Personal opinions,facts,rants, obscure shit you don't know about. OR MAYBE YOU DO! At any rate I will try to be punctual. No point reading a blog that updates NEVER.

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